Okay, first of all, I hate hearing that men feel they are going to be less important when a toy is incorperated. I just can't see how its possible! There is nothing that could EVER compare to the mental, psychological, and emotional connection that comes with having someone there to share the most intimate aspect in your life. There is NOTHING like the feeling of warm flesh pressed against you and feeling that kind of a connection so, men, PLEASE stop worrying that you won't live up to a piece of plastic/rubber/vinyl/etc. They won't ever love her and make her feel special. They'll just give her an orgasm if anything.

Okay, that aside....

first suggestion: a bullet~its small enough to fit in her vagina and make her into a vibrating pussy, an amazing experience if you've ever tried it, and when you're not around, she can use it it for clitoral stimulation, OR she can use it for clitoral stimulation when you ARE around. Its excellent to have it pressed against her clit while you're grinding into her. It also can be used to give her a massage if you place it in soft or tickly gloves.

second suggestion: a cock ring~ not your average buy out of the vending machine cock ring but one that has a vibrator (usually a bullet) inside of it. Place the vibrating part up for her clitoral stimulation, or down for a tingling vibration on your scrotum. Better yet, buy one that has a place for a double bullet. then she gets clit stimulation and you get the vibration on your balls.

third suggestion: a small vibrator~ something that you feel comfortable with that she can use for anal and clitoral play while you are making love. She probably won't want to use this one in her pussy because it isn't as big as you (HOPEFULLY) .

I personally suggest the first one or the second on or a mixture of the first two. You can buy cock rings with removable bullets that you can use for extra fun time. If I get permission, I'll post some pics from my website to give you an example of what I mean in each suggestion.