Ok... Now I've read all of the posts and I'm in the camp that says cheating is only when deception and lies are part of it. I think there can be cheating without sex. This would be more devestating to me than extrimarital sex. I could handle it if my OH had sex with someone else for a purely physical reason - assuming that there was some reason that I couldn't do it for him - but I couldn't handle it if he were emotionally and spirtually involved with someone else. That would be a long term thing and I would be really hurt if he felt the need to get that connection outside of our marriage. I understand that the physical can be long term too, but it would not as big of an issue for me. I guess I'm more open to sharing physically than emotionally.