In all honesty, I had started to read your story and hadn't gotten past the first paragraph because I thought it was difficult to read. I read erotica to get off, and if I need to reread a sentence two or three times to understand it, it's counterproductive. I didn't bother to make a comment to you about it since many stories are like that, I didn't want to be rude, and English isn't my first language so I know my grammar isn't always spot-on either.

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Si à travers nos veines coule encore le sang...
Si dans les jeux d'enfants on entend encore l'accent...
Si nous sentons encore l'espoir de nos grands-parents...
Si dans les voiles du large souffle encore le vent...
Y'a jamais eu de Grand Dérangement.