But, I've taken vows before the old gods of the wood to keep myself pure and chaste so that I can focus full time on doing their work. Totally going to stick to it this time, unless I meet Ms. Right, or if she is really hot, or if she is moderately attractive and bisexual, or hell I'm just saving myself for a willing partner again.

But can we do the kidnapping thing? That way I will still remain a man of my word.

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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.