Well.........

Way back when I was a kid (shut up) I had a friend who we'll call, Shelby. We were in the woods behind her house, and I stumbled upon her with her hands down her pants. So she told me (and showed me) what she was doing.

I was hooked.

A little while later, I was at my friend....Debbie's house. We were up in her room, on her bed, and I showed her how to masturbate. We were so scared that someone was going to come in, that we crawled into a little attic crawlspace that's off of her room. No sooner did we get comfortable, we here.........

MsTerious, your mother's here to take you home!

Anyway, I masturbated all the time. Yes, all the time. My favorite story to tell people is that I would ride in the car with the whole family, and masturbate. I'd cover up with a blanket, and I went at it. I had to be about 10 or so.

Couldn't do that now though. Too much noise. Too much mess. Too many toys. (nooo I'm kidding, there's no such thing as too many toys!)

And I masturbated happily ever after.