It all reminds me of the "Desiderada" spoof in National Lampoon that said, "Make peace with your God, whatever you conceive him to be: Hairy Thunderer or Cosmic Muffin."

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.