08-16-2009, 01:13 AM
|
 |
Causer of Unrest
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,005
|
|
|
I've got no beef with monogamy, if that's what floats your boat. I'm good with ethical polyamory as well. I do think that the monogamous paradigm probably ruins more relationships unnecessarily than polyamory does; if you've got to dump a good love for no reason other than there's someone else that speaks to your heart, how's that a good thing?
On a personal note, I think my life would've been considerably easier if polyamory were something that people could talk about openly in this society. As it is, my family has no idea I was widowed 3 years ago, and no conception (not that they could) of what that has done to me. And his family didn't know me at all until it was too late, because he didn't feel they would be able to handle that he was involved in a poly relationship. If we could've just been who we were without worrying about the politics of it, perhaps a lot of pain could've been avoided for a lot of people.
ETA: Regarding OldFart's comment about polyamory (and the failure thereoef) tearing apart the family, I have a good friend who is in the middle of his second divorce, in Texas, where women are favored in custody. His first wife keeps their daughter most of the time, and he hardly gets to see her. This breaks his heart. His second wife brought a child from another relationship, whom he raised for several years as his own, and they had 2 together. He will never see his stepchild from here on out, because she spends weekends with her birth father, and now he shares custody with his two children. This is the result of traditional, monogamous marriage(s) on the family. That is not a plug for poly, but rather just recognizing that monogamy alone is no defense against the forces that will tear a family apart.
|