True story.....

A friends son was pulled over. when the cop got to the window he said.... "Your eyes look bloodshot... You been smoke'n dope?"

The kids reply was great... "Well... your eyes look glazed... you been eat'n to many donuts"

Needless to say.... he had to go bail him out......

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Just voted Chairman of the Board for the I.O.T.T (International Order of Talented Tongues)

Unix Love:
gawk, date, finger, wait, unzip, touch, nice, suck, strip, mount, fsck, umount, make clean, sleep

Her eyes were cold and harsh, which made them tough to chew

I ran into my ex the other day, then I backed up and ran into her again.... I miss her sometimes.

Sit with a pretty woman for an hour and it seems like a minute, sit in a hot oven for a minute and it seems like an hour.

An "X" rated movie is one in which the plot is underdeveloped but the cast isn't.

My last girlfriend had everything, maybe that's why she was quarantined!