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"What was that?" my hostess enquired, turning her head.

"Look, bitch," I challenged her, desperate to keep her attention away from Nicole whose camera was once more floating around in mid-air as she looked for a good shot, "are you going to suck my cock, or what?"

"Impatient for your own death?" she enquired. "Don't worry, you'll enjoy it. Not to mention the eternal life that it will lead you to. Have you ever wondered what it is like to feel your mouth fill with the warm, salty blood of a virgin. Believe me, you won't half get a kick out of it."

Her evil laugh filled the room and kept her from noticing the click and whirr of Nicole's camera. Sinking onto all fours she began crawling down the bed towards me. As she grinned the torch light reflected off her ivory fangs.

As she bent down over my erection her tongue slithered out of her mouth like a venomous snake. I gasped with pleasure as it wrapped its deathly cool wetness around the length of my hot, hard cock. Death might be only seconds away I realised as the points of her fangs scratched along its sensitive surface. What would it feel like, I wondered. Was any pleasure worth dying for. Only those who had, could tell you. Dead men might tell no tales, but that old undead guy who had led me to this castle had spun quite a yarn. I couldn't help being curious about whether his description of the joys of the final moment had been exaggerated.

It would be just at the moment of ejaculation that her fangs would sink into the veins of my cock. But I had a surprise for her.

I felt my balls tighten and the sperm begin its journey up the shaft of my cock and I knew the moment of truth was at hand. My cock spurted a stream of hot jism down the vampire's throat, but before she could sink her teeth into me, she grabbed her throat and threw her head back gasping for air. A horrible wheezing sound filled the room and her pale face turned a sickly shade of blue.

"Pardon me if I don't employ the Heimlich maneuver," I said, as I kicked her in the chest and sent her sprawling against the opposite wall. "All right, Nicole. It's staking time. Nicole... Nicole...?"

I looked around for Nicole and then realised there was not much point if she was invisible. But I couldn't see the hammer and stakes either. Or the camera.

I turned back to the Queen of the Undead, and found her coughing up sperm and looking mighty unfriendly.

"Prepare to die, Van Helsing," she screamed as she lunged at me and I retreated to the other side of the bed.

She was almost upon me when a hand grasped her long hair and pulled her backwards onto the bed. It was Nicole, now visible - stark naked and stake in hand. She drove the stake into the vampire's heart with her right fist and then grabbed the hammer from the bag over her shoulder and drove it all the way in. The vampire shreiked in agony and her body jumped as if 3,000 volts of electricity were passing through it. Then gradually the convulsions ceased and it lay there only giving the occassional twitch. When all movement had ceased we watched in fascination as her body dried and shrivelled back to a skeleton which then collapsed into a pile of ashes and disappeared. We had won.

"Where were you," I cried, when I had caught my breath. "What happened to split-second timing."

"The potion wore off," Nicole explained, "if I hadn't snuck out of the room she would have seen me. I came as soon as I could, but its fucking freezing now that I'm visible and I was hoping to find something in the next room to wrap around myself."

I noticed that Nicole was now turning blue herself and shivering uncontrollably.

"Well," I said, "you better climb into bed and I'll see if I can find some way to warm you up."

"I thought you'd never ask," she said, crawling beneath the bedsheets. I stripped off my jacket, waist-coat, shirt, skivvy and thermal singlet, and joined her. She was covered in goosebumps and still shivering uncontrollably. I rubbed my hands firmly all over her nude body working up a bit of friction and causing my cock to stiffen and start generating a little heat of its own.

"I'm still cold," she whimpered. There was only one thing to do. I crawled down under the blankets and began stoking her fire with my tongue.

The next day I carried her back down to the village all wrapped in bedclothes like a coccoon to keep her warm.

Laying her down on the bed in our room at the inn, I lit the fire. Once it had had a chance to fill the room with heat, Nicole unwrapped herself and came to stand naked by my side.

"So what's the secret?" she asked me. "How did you make her choke like that?"

"It wasn't easy," I told her. "Have you ever tried holding an odourless garlic tablet in the eye of your dick for six whole hours?"

"In case you've forgotten," Nicole pointed out, "I'm a girl. I haven't got a dick."

"How could I forget something like that?" I asked her, dropping my hand to fondle the area where her dick would have been if she'd had one. "It's one of the things I like best about you."

Just as things were starting to get interesting, Nicole's mobile phone went off.

"Yes, I think we could manage that," she told the person on the other end. "We're pretty much finished up here."

"What's that all about?" I asked her when she had put down the phone.

"Another case, if you feel up to it," she replied. "A female werewolf is on the rampage down in Barcelona."

"Could have possiblities," I admitted.

"Seems she got bitten by a mad dog while in wolf form," Nicole added. "Oh, and it's the mating season."

"Hmmmm, fucking a rabid werewolf in heat," I mused, scratching my chin. "There could be a story for you in that one. And a few photo opportunities."

"I thought you'd be tempted," she smiled. "But you'll have to fuck her before she completes her transformation. Our magazine doesn't do bestiality."

The End