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Originally Posted by pinkFlames
When I was going through treatment, I joined a few breast cancer groups on Facebook. The type of cancer I had tends to favour younger women and unfortunately it was a common occurrence for men to cheat or leave their partners after breast cancer.
After my diagnosis, my partner lost interest in me. During chemo, I didn't mind as the side effects knocked me about but after treatment, I wanted to return to the sex life I once had. He would assist me but not show interest himself. He played on being old and no longer into sex but then he started chasing younger women. His excuse from his own mouth was he missed my breast.
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I'm far from blameless when it comes to bad decisions about relationships and/or breakups, but even though we were apart for many years, I still fancied my ex-wife massively right up til the day she died.
This was following lengthy treatment for breast Ca, including a radical mastectomy, and because I'm a nurse (psych, NOT physical) and her private health insurance didn't cover much in the way of nursing care, I was sometimes the only person who was both willing
and able to change the dressings for, her post-op.
For various reasons, this went on for quite a few months afterwards, but as it meant she had to disrobe her top half for me to attend to her, it meant her remaining boob was 'free to view', as it were, and got me just as aroused as I ever was before. Maybe just me, having been able to deal with seeing some really rather traumatic stuff in my time, but I always had deep feelings for her and she never lost her attractiveness to me in a sexual way - we just couldn't live together! If I'd been single, and she wanted to, I would quite happily have made love with her as often as she'd wanted.
I'm aware I've kind of
here - sorry pF!
Long and the short of it is, in my limited experience of these matters, it seems there is a small percentage of people who can deal with their partners' life-altering illnesses/conditions, and the much higher percentage of folk that can't. It's a shame, but that's life unfortunately.
DM