Your wishes and concerns seem perfectly in line to me. I think a long talk before preparing to move is in order. I hate the ultimatum thing but truth is, he either wants what you do or he doesn't. Sounds to me like he's got a fine lady with a brain. He should listen and get inline. Best of luck to you two.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery