Like Lilith and Lou, my sex drive has always been much higher than any of my partners. I've found only one whose drive seems to be as high or higher than mine, but we never lived together; we just dated. Please don't assume that all women's sex drives are less than men's.

I definitely think that in addition to a possible difference in level of sex drives between partners, usually problems in the bedroom are just a symptom of problems elsewhere in the relationship. It's usually the other things that are wrong that affect how things are going bedroom-wise. If your partner is feeling overly stressed in other areas of her life, especially if she doesn't believe that she is getting enough support from you in any way (other than sex) that might help alleviate her stress, it's going to affect her desire for sex.

As an extreme example, even with my high sex drive, when it got to the point that I was working 40-60 hrs a week, raising 2 kids on my own, being responsible for all housework, cooking, yardwork, seeing that bills got paid, and seeing that birthdays and holidays were acknowledged, and my husband showed no interest in me or the kids until midnight, once I was totally exhausted, I wanted to tell him to go jump in the lake or take a number like everyone else who was demanding my time 24-7. If he'd done his fair share of all of those responsibilities and not just come home from work, put his feet up with the TV on and the newspaper in front of his face until midnight, when he suddenly got horny, I would have felt much more love toward him and would have still had my usual high sex drive.

Think about reading an oldie but goodie--How to Light Her Fire. It may really open your eyes and be a great help. You may even think about getting her a copy of How to Light His Fire. It may give you some insight, some ideas, and initiate some helpful dialogue between the two of you.

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Communication is the key.