If you like a bit of hot 70s Porno Chic, then you must must must see Henry Paris's 'The Opening Of Misty Beethoven' which has sexy babes with real boobs and pubic hair (I'd give all my shoes to charity if I could look as foxy as Constance Money for just one day). There's excellent acting from Jamie Gillis (who comes across like a porno Cary Grant), big budget sets (Paris, Rome and New York) & an excellent script with hilarious dialogue.

The whole thing's based on Pygmalion / My Fair Lady and it's about a snooty libertine (Jamie Gillis) who decides to turn a common hooker (Constance Money) into a sexual sophisticate. They live in a surreal & funny world where on aeroplanes the air hostesses offer you head and you get the choice of "fucking or non-fucking" when you board your flight.

The only things that let it down are that there are too many blowjobs for my liking and, because it's the '70s, they don't seem to have realised that a girl needs more than a cursory tongue-waggle down below and a cock inside her to get off. (I find myself shouting things at the screen like, "Come on boys! It's not THAT difficult to find. I'll even draw you a map.")

But the performers really do look like they're having a great time rather than just holding on till the pay cheque arives (like they do in most modern pornos). This is the only porno I've ever watched more than once (I've seen it 4 times now).

By the way, Dadaist. I name that avatar in one: it's Tristan Tzara, isn't it? But just look what Hugo Ball's wearing to the Cabaret Voltaire tonight...

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