A newfie calls 911
"Hello, is this the OPP?"
"Yes. What can we do for you?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor, Mike Fitzpatric! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the OPP officers descended on Mike's house.
They searched the shed where the firewood was kept. Using axes, they busted open every piece of wood but found no marijuana. They swore at Mike and left.
The next day the phone rang at Mike's house.
"Hey, Mike! Did the OPP come to your house?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Merry Christmas, Buddy"
