RULES FOR ENTERING TEXAS

1. Remember that Texas is home to real people; where love for God
and love for country are equally taught.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup
truck because I need to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get
dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you.
They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go
east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.

4. So you have a $60,000 dollar car. We're impressed. We have
quarter-million dollar cotton strippers that we drive 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL
shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear
at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawdads. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious
holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to everyone, regardless of
age.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you
can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Pace Picante
Sauce.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how
to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks,
and a heap more fun to watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the water hazards - it spooks
the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Texas A&M. They come outta there with an education plus
a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they
come for the holidays.

16. We have more folks in the Navy, Army, Marines, and Air Force than any
other state, so "Don't Mess with Texas." If you do, it will get your butt
whipped by the best.

17. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:
"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't
make it without Texas."

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.