Monstar ---

Take your time! I have to say that I agree with Diva and the others. I'm only 21, so I don't have quite the perspective they do, but then again I'm also a lot closer to your age & stage of life. Hopefully I can offer you a little bit of insight from that viewpoint.

First off, slow down. Becoming a sex goddess isn't something that happens overnight! You may be eager to push the limits, but give your girlfriend time if you really care about her. I know that personally I wasn't sexually active at all until I was about your age (well, actually, it was just before my 19th birthday), and although I've loved sex from the beginning, I'm still pretty slow to introduce new things. I guess it's just a matter of comfort, and of security. I'm very lucky, though, in that my b/f doesn't pressure me at all, so when we do try something new, it's at a pace that we're both comfortable with. And when we're not trying anything new or "freaky"? I bet that you probably think our sex life in between must be pretty boring, but trust me, it's not. We take the attitude that sex is supposed to be fun, and we play a lot. Teasing each other and laughing can be really, really sexy! Plus, the laughter and the sense of play tend to bring down inhibitions and increase the sense of freedom to explore. They also help prevent us from seeing sex as some kind of challenge to see who can do the "freakiest" or wildest stuff, or who can get to orgasm fastest or best or most often. Sex isn't a competitive sport --- at its best it's an expression of love, and all the joy and happiness that comes with that. Sex manuals are great, but they often tend to channel you into thinking that sex is only about the physical positions and techniques, which is most definitely not the case!

The other thing I wanted to ask you was why you're so determined to get into the "freaky" stuff, as you call it. Whatever turns your crank is fine by me, but I think it's always good to be aware of why you like or dislike something. You said:

Why do you "go on and on" if you know it will offend her? It seems to me that a big part of the reason you like the really wild stuff is the shock value, and that one of the people you like to shock with it is your girlfriend. Now, I can't speak for her, but I know that personally, I'm not liable to get comfortable with anything (or even give myself the chance to get comfortable with it) if it's constantly made into a huge issue and thrown in my face. Introduce the idea gently and tenderly, and I'm much more likely to respond positively, or at least, consider it openly.

I don't know if that helps you any, but I hope you'll take the time to ask yourself those questions and come up with some answers before you decide to do anything too drastic in your relationship.

Hope all turns out well for you two! Good luck!

--- sweetstuff