"In the nineteenth century masturbation was a disease; in the twentieth, it is a cure."

"Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin- it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring."
-S. J. Perelman

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up."
-Joan Rivers

"From the moment I was six I felt sexy. And let me tell you it was hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it."
-Bette Davis