I don't mean any offense to anyone by this... See how many mangled lines you can recognize!

Excerpts from the Alabama Shakespeare Festival
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Ta shewt er nawt ta shewt, heck ain't that a doozy? Yee-HAW!

Billy Bob, Billy Bob, where y'all at, Billy Bob?

A gun rack, a gun rack, my double-wide for a gun rack!

Tamarra, tamarra, and tamarra...why, that's three days from now!

Alas, poor Bubba....him and me usta go huntin'.

The first thang we do is kill all the lawyers...and then them there revenuers.

Out, out, damned spot! Git yer sorry ass outside, dawg!

That which we call a beer would taste jest as good if'n we called it sumthin' else....

Full of sound and fury, don't mean shit.

The quality of mercy is not strain'd... can you imagine what size colander they'd need?

Aw, whut laht is that in that winder yunder? It's Juliet! She's on fahr!

Neether a deadbeat nor one'a them there loansharks be, for yeh kin kiss your cash goodbye 'long wit the deadbeat ya loaned it to, and bein' a deadbeat takes tha edge offa yer homesteadin'.

Get y'all to a nunnery. Yer already mah sister.

Once more, into the breach...cain't shewt if'n they ain't no bullets in it.

Hey there, whut light on yonder winder breaks? "It's jest the moon, Sis."

Now it's winter on dis continent, with a glorious hummer and a ton of pork.

"I kin call forth beasts from the vasty deep!" "Bulll-sheeit. So could I, but I don't see 'em comin' when yew call."

Alas, poor Yorick... damn varmint done kicked th' bucket!

Is this a dagger I see before me? Hell naw, It's just a cow.

What's a movable? A joint stool. Go milk the damn cow, Bubba.

Till Dunsinane come to Birmin'ham Wood, whereupon we all had fun drinkin beer and shewtin' possum.

What light thru that there winder breaks, it's my pick-up, and that's my deer spottin' light.

Double, double, tawl and trouble, fahr burn and stew-pot bubble.....in
them p'ison'd roadkill throw....

Sheeeit. You, too, Brutus? Then keel over, Caesar!

Et tu Billy bob?

I come not to praise Ceasar, but to bury the sum-beeitch.

Double, double, toil 'n' trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble,
goddammit, the still's overflowed again!

Ain't as wide as a church door, Nor deep as a well, but it sho' 'nuff
hurts like hell!

Sumpin's rotten in the state of Denmark...sheeit, sumpin in this fridge smells.

Art thou ma daddy's ghost? Hell, naw! He's just passed out on the couch again.

What's in a name? Hell, if'n I could read, I could tell y'all.

To be or not to be. Whut was the question again?

Romeo and Juliet: A family reunion.

A CURSE ON BOTH YOUR TRAILERS!!