ok ok ok I have found a depilatory cream that works, but it's main active ingredient is Urinase which is (for all you chem buffs) the active enzyme in...tada Urine...... but it works it's a product called Marzena it's in various stores and I use it on my legs and my pubic area and it also has a hair growth inhibitor.

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-Seems we got here just in the nick of time. Whats that make us?
--Big damn heros Sir.
-Ain't we just.