I have been down the hole of depression and uncertainty Danziggy.

It is all horrible but you are a person of worth and hang onto that deep love for your little boy.

Steph was right in that you need support to get you through it. Seek professional help and lean on some close friends. They cannot resolve it but will help you cope better and realise you are a person of worth.

I hope it gets better for you buddy, hang in there that little boy needs his daddy.