This is a complex question. My personal experience with my wife is: Hormone changes suck.

After we had our first child my wife's desire went up a lot. Yaa!

After our second it went to zero and I do mean zero. It was postpardum talking but damn it sucks when you come home and she tells you she is never going to have sex with you again - then two months later she's crying because "you never make love to me."

Stay cool, just stay cool.

Her drive bounces like a yo-yo now. I'm sure it's a combination of hormone changes and "overworked by the kids."

No amount of effort on my part seems to be able to fix it.

The worst part; even when we do it now it doesn't feel real. It's nothing like it used to be.

She won't talk about it. Life sucks.