Guy goes to see his urologist and says, "Doc, my 'thing' is orange."

Doc looks at it and scratches his head. "Got any family history that would account for this?", he asks.

"No", says the patient.

"Do you work with chemicals?"

"No", says the patient, "I don't work".

Doc says, "Do you have any hobbies that use chemicals?"

"No", says the patient. I don't do much anything except sit around watching porno flicks and eating Cheetos.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.