I don't have any adult advice to share...since I have neither an ex nor kids...but as a child who lived through a divorce, custody sharing, and my mom getting remarried (she was the primary custodian)...I do have a perspective from R's side of the fence.

As a kid, I hated my stepfather for the first few years...and always wanted to run to my real father to complain, for forgiveness, and because he was much more permissive than my stepfather and mom.

Looking back, I did benefit from having two (very different) paternal influences in my childhood. Sometimes my dad would give my mom/stepfather weeks of time with me, and I eventually got settled down into a scenario that was to everyone's benefit.

Thus...my advice... Your daughter will try to play you off of your ex and her fiance. Don't let her. And realize that having some type of close relationship with the fiance may be good for R...although she may not realize it at first.

But don't get steamrolled -- and know that your daughter needs your time and love too -- especially now. She's probably still reeling from her mom's engagement.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney