This is the private diary of a Viagra housewife...
Day 1
Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not
much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our
wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and
cried.

Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's
impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to
know. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I
mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs.
Yesterday, I saw a picture of Nelson's Column and burst
into tears.

Day 4
A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the
market that will fix his 'problem'. It's called Viagra.
I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just
like they were on our wedding night. I think this will
work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to
lift something other than his mood.

Day 5
What absolute bliss!!

Day 6
Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while
he's doing that.

Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun
intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked
me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking
about him. But, have to admit it's very nice -- I don't
think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday,
instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend
as a weed wacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down
there.

Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only
take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing
the Viagra down with neat whiskey! What am I going to
do? I feel tacky all over...

Day 11
I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living
with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning
hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a
complete pig.

Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up,
cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps
coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous...

Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's
like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly
walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again,
I'll kill the jerk.

Day 14
I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is
working. I even started dressing like a nun but this
just seems to make him more horny. Help me!

Day 15
I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to
everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him
and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I
told him to go screw himself and he did.

Day 16
The jerk has started to complain about headaches. I
hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might
try stopping the Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any
difference... Christ! Here he comes again!

Day 18
He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in
front of the TV all day with that remote control in his
hand and expects me to do everything for him. What
absolute bliss!