HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN or MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: (2003 version)

01. She is not a BABE or a CHICK -
She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

02. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER -
She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

03. She is not EASY -
She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

04. She is not DUMB -
She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

05. She has not BEEN AROUND -
She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

06. She is not an AIRHEAD -
She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

07. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY -
She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

08. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS -
She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

09. She does not NAG YOU -
She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

10.She is not a SLUT -
She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11.She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS -
She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
1
2.She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE -
She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
01. He does not have a BEER GUT -
He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

02. He is not a BAD DANCER -
He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

03. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME -
He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

04. He is not BALDING -
He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

05. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER -
He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

06. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK -
He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

07. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS -
He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

08. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG -
He has SWINE EMPATHY.

09. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT -
He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10.He is not HORNY -
He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.