burnout.. .

Give yourself and your wife a little slack... be patient... and most importantly communicate! I can only imagine that your wife is going thru what every new mom experiences.. and MORE... what I mean by that is that she didn't have the 9 month prep period that most mothers experience.. during which... lots of "what if's" are rationalized... in her case.. with adoption.. she is dealing with all of that now... not to mention so many other issues that I can't imagine.

Please pardon me for saying this... BUT... I only noticed the word "love" written once in your statment... that to me is a red flag....

I am in no way excusing your wife for withholding sex... nor am I condoning her oral sex practices (or lack there of)... but I think that the key to this is communication.... and more than anything expressing your love for her in ways other than sexual..

Good luck..