Stories like this make me cringe. Partly because I wish I knew a way to fix them, but every time I've been close to one I've been reminded that you can't heal someone who's insisting on being sick. The reasons why women stay with abusive men are many and complicated, and inevitably nonsensical to those of us on the outside. I don't understand it on a visceral level, at best I can intellectualize it a bit.

But that's not the point. You want to know what you can do, and I hope to heavens someone behind me comes up with a better answer than mine. Because I don't really think there's much more that you can do. You have to stay the hell away from him, getting yourself arrested for assault doesn't help...and odds are he'll take it out on D first chance he gets. She has to be the solution, as much as anyony can be I think. You've offered to help...keep offering. Don't pretend you don't see it, don't let her get away with pretending no-one else knows. You can try talking to her, if you want...depedning on who she is it might be either harder or easier to take from an acquintance. But until she's ready to take steps away from the creature she's living with...you can't help her. You can support her when she does make the move if you want...you can let her know that support is available to her when she wants it. You can't do anything else, I don't think.

Mind you, it's easier for me to say...not having to watch the problem degrade. And I know full well that if D was one of my sisters, I'd want to be on a plane tomorrow and buying a large bat on my way to town....regardless of all my advice to hold back. But as far as 2cents goes in this situation, I can tell you I think you're doing as much as you can do. She's blessed that someone around her is willing to do that much, not everyone cares enough to notice. You're one of the good guys.

Fingers crossed that she gets the strength before it gets much worse.