
09-26-2004, 05:43 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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Crazy Thoughts
- Do the actors on Unsolved Mysteries ever get arrested because they look just like the criminal they are playing?
- Do bald people get dandruff?
- Why doesn't baking soda freeze?
- What if you were to ask a genie to grant you more than three wishes for one of you wishes?
- If you made biscuits with chocolate milk instead of regular milk, would they taste chocolaty?
- If you rented a movie and were late returning it and then you died would someone you knew or a family member have to pay the late fee?
- Can a person with no ears wear glasses?
- Are people who are allergic to nuts allergic to coconuts too?
- If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep going or stop?
- How come French fries are not considered vegetables, since they are just deep fried potatoes?
- Can you still say "Put it where the sun don't shine " on a nude beach?
- Why is it that when adults have multiple personalities it's schizophrenia, but when a child has imaginary friends it's cute?
- If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart?
- Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?
- Why do bullies always ask "what’s your problem" when they're obviously not going to solve it?
- Do stairs go up or down?
- When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
- Why is there a top line on lined paper if we never use it?
- Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
- Why do the numbers on phones go down while the numbers on calculators go up?
- If Hooters were to become a door-to-door service would they have to change their name to Knockers?
- If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
- Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
- Can you make a candle out of your earwax?
- When French people swear do they say pardon my English?
- Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
- If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
- Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?
- Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
- "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
- Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
- Are marbles made of marble?
- Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?
- If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)
- Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
- Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?
- Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
- Can you get cornered in a round room?
- Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?
- If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?
- How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
- Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
- Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
- Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
- Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
- "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
- Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
- Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
- Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
- Can mute people burp?
- What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
- Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
- How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
- If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
- If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
- Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
- Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
- Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
- Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
- Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
- Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
- Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
- Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free? - If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
- You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to people that work nights?
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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