You know, sometimes it's the little things that are the most painful. I think every child was scarred by their parents, and I suspect I'm gonna fuck my kids up too. I think the best we can do is try to be cognisant of how much damage we can do. The first step is thinking about your emotional reactions, and try to modulate them.
A great example.....When I was 6, I went grocery shopping with my father. He had very little money -- and I knew this -- but as we went through the checkout line, I begged for a piece of candy (which was probably the equivalent of 30c US today). He told me no patiently the first time. I asked again, and he shouted at me that he didn't have enough money to pay for the candy and that I should stop being greedy.
And....while I understand the frustrations of having no cash and the stress he was under....every time I go to buy something extravagant there is his voice in the back of my head telling me that I am greedy. And perhaps I am.
Did something so insignificant change my life view? Yes. Will I think before I'd say something like this to my kids? Hell yeah. Was he a bad parent? Not in this instance.
So...Yes, the big and little things in our childhood change our life view. Everyone's got them, and (IMHO) the people who are the best parents try to overcome them.
Of course, I don't have kids so I'm not an expert.
