Wow Axe, that's got to be tough to go through. I think mixed emotions are the worst to deal with, and I would imagine you're feeling that now. If you need to talk or vent or anything, we're here for you...

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these