Well I have a recurring nightmare about the time I was gang raped by a group of older airman appretices when I was 16.

I always try to get away and get punched and kicked and have my trousers ripped off and am held down over a chair, there is more but I wont describe it, I always wake up in a sweat and screaming.

I have worked with therapists for years and have never gotten rid of this nightmare. It comes and goes with irregularity.

You never ever forget being sexually abused you just learn to live with it as comfortably as you can. It is why any sort of violence or restraint is not a part of sexual pleasure to me.

I find it very difficult to tell anyone face to face about this but I can type about it and give other people the perspective of the victim. Especially at pixies where i know the people are special and caring.