Pixies Place Forums - View Single Post

or maybe not...

We, at one time, were considered a forum that was very accepting of newbies unlike some sites where newbies experience a trial by fire just to speak their minds. Members who had bad attitudes usually didn't hang around, not because we ran them off but because they usually didn't get the attention they wanted. Recently we had a situation where some people felt a fairly new member was being flamed and some did not. Now I've noticed that a post in personals has turned into an opportunity to scold someone for their attitude based on their first post...in my personal opinion...it's easier to just not respond if you are not interested, especially in personals. When the next new member goes to post there to introduce themselves, and they see that, what is the chance they will post without hesitation?

My goal is to always be bringing fresh life to this site...I consider every new member someone who can potentially be a fun active part of this site. While many of them never post a word, I surely don't want our reaction to other members to hinder the chance they will do so. And is why we have never permitted flaming.

The idea here has always been as an inclusive not exclusive group. Some people have expressed in some recent posts that they felt "left out" or that they just never feel like they are part of te group. While I realize that some people never really feel they belong (to anything), I've been wondering what can be done to make newer and even less vocal members feel as "at home" as many of te rest of us do??? How can I make people feel less like a newbie when I don't view them as a newbie anymore???

Anyway, I just wanted you guys to know that this is something that is concerning me. While I've been to sites that really flame people and where flame wars are the common posting rather than the rarity, and we are nothing like those places, I don't like the idea of slowly developing into that sort of place.

I think it's important to be able to express ourselves freely here but that rule has to apply to everyone. We take everything here really personally because we all care so deeply for eachother and that's never a bad thing unless it turns us into a forum where everyone feels the need to have their 2 cents without thinking about how their posts affects the group as a whole, as well as those about to sign up next. Newbies don't know that yet and we really can't expect them to, considering the status quo on many other sites differs from this one dramatically.

Some people feel that controversial or hot topics are taboo here. While that is not a rule, it seems to stem from the fact that often people are unable to express their own view without putting down someone else's. It seems to turn people defensive and just hasn't been successful here often. Feelings get hurt and there are definitely people who can't support their own feelings in any other way than to degrade someone else's. While debate is healthy, raging emotions and confrontational attitudes, are not and it's hard to have one without the other creeping in. But that doesn't mean that if you really want to talk about something, that you shouldn't. It just means be prepared for it to get warm.

I suppose I am just thinking outloud here, and it's probably a mistake before coffee has started working but I just want you to know that I consider the growth of this site crucial to it's existence and that I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to make that happen.

If you have views on how I can assist both long-time members and newbies to get the most out of this forum, I'd appreciate hearing them.