when the phone rings and it's his number immediately go and turn the volume down on your answering machine so that you won't be guilted into picking up the phone, then proceed to engage in some activity that will keep you busy for at least an hour (shopping, a good movie, baking, whatever), just don't think about the answering machine and the message he left. Only listen to the message when you are feeling strong and prepared... you know what it will say before you listen, just don't let it tug at your heartstrings. The phone is the only way he has to stay connected at this point and each time you respond to his pleas is allowing him to still have a connection to your life.