Hi jenna, boy do i know this one too well, my issues with trust and communication have always tried to keep me down an hold me back the capper on the whole thing being my inccessant overthinking of , well, just about everything. As a consequence i have few friends whom i would call close and the ones that i do have had to pry away at my armour to get to the real me (my point of view, not theirs).
Also I very seriously suspect that my inability to trust and/or communicate have been significant contributers to the breakdown of past relationships.
though not the main reason for their failure it certainly had an impact.
Having said all that I wish to convey to you that there is most definately hope out there just waiting for you to embrace it. Amongst the sea of people there is a person whom will be patient and conscientious and attentive and inspiring and you wont even realize it til later but that person will some how have gained entry to the real and hidden you. To have the faith that this is true is in you and you probably already know that so set it free and see what happens just one moment at a time is all it takes and from the encounter(s)
that you've described you may well be there or on your way to each of these moments already. It's kind of like taking the time to do more than just watch a sun set but to really feel it's beauty as it washes over you.
good journey and accept the gifts that are given, one moment at a time. schelagh
p.s.~ this has always helped me to trust a bit more hope it works for you too!