Hi all my Pixies Friends,

This is going to get a little confusing, and at the least, a bit complicated, so please bear with me.

I'd like some help from you here if you could. What I'd like to know if I am being fair to myself and my son, specifically to him.

My wife paid me a visit yesterday, asking me to consider not finalizing our divorce, since we are going to be getting a court date within the next 2 weeks.

She has indicated for about 9 months now that she wants me to leave my apartment and return to our house. From the time I was forced to leave my home ( in Feb 2004), I have told her that I would consider returning, if there were to be changes regarding my role in the household. The biggest of these changes is that I would be a "parental figure" to all the kids in the household, not just my son.

I told her once again that the only way I would consider moving back to the house is if I am able to be a parental figure to her daughters, as well as my son. She admitted that they would not accept me in that role.

I then said that we might as well finalize the divorce, since I would not return under the current circumstances.

She then started bawling like a baby, accusing me of being completely selfish and not having the least concern for her well being, and I was not offering her any support or help at all.

I asked her what she expected me to do TO support and help her thru this ordeal.

This is more or less the list (in no particular order):

Come to the house and visit just to see her
Come to the house and bring her cards and/or flowers becasuse she '"needed" them.
Take her out on "dates" so she could have time away from the stresses in her life.
Come over and help with things around the house like lawn mowing or in the winter time snow removal.
Go to couples therapy sessions with her to enable us to have a relationship.


I told her that since I didn't live in the house, I didn't feel as though I needed to have some of the housekeeping responsibilities.

I told her as well that if it would help her out, I would start attending couples therapy, but I still want to be divorced.

I care for her, but to be honest am no longer in love with her. I don't want to see her hurt, nor to hurt her any more, but I am not going to be "married but living seperately".

:bang:

Am I the one who is being selfish?
Is she correct?
Or is she just not understanding that she's being unrealistic?

Much thanks.