Live and learn and then live and learn again .... let me at least say that I respect your honesty in revealing your own shortcomings (so to speak)....but also, just because you may not yet have found the right path for yourself, doesn't make you a failure ... history is filled with those who seemed to be going nowhere for a very long time only to ultimately FINALLY find the right path for themselves and then they changed the world! I hope you find that path for yourself quickly (if you haven't already) and that you also are able to find people who see and nurture the light inside you! It is my wish for you and all of our pixies people!