Q: What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot him again.
Q: How can you tell if a man is well-hung?
A: When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck & the noose.
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: Because they're practicing to be men.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 1 - he just holds it up there & waits for the world to revolve around him (or) 3 - 1 to screw in the bulb & 2 to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath & calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize 1 egg?
A: Not one will stop to ask directions.
Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their mates after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Q: What's the difference between men & women?
A: A woman wants 1 man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his 1 need.
Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs & diamonds.
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your email?
A: Rename the folder "Instructions Manuals".
Q. How's the only way to get a girlfriend in today's society?
A: You have to have at least 1 of 2 big things - & one of them is a wallet!!
Irish
