
12-03-2004, 02:39 PM
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1 of 8,111,103,258
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: 41.36N-81.32W
Posts: 21,527
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If Santa answered his mail honestly...
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer
yer Frend, BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write?
I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do?
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid
mom, who rides his a$$ constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let
me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay, I'll set
you up with a Barbie.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots
for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle
of scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
drinking myself silly and squeezing the a$$es of cocktail waitresses while
losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in
whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiney begging sh!t may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Mark, first, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're
getting you're a$$ whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a
house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex Third, I get inside your pad
just like the boogeyman does, through the trap door in the floor under your bed.
Sweet Dreams, Santa
__________________
PANTIES
the best thing next to cuchie
"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"
Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!
real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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12-03-2004, 02:48 PM
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Single scottish guy
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,440
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brilliant just brilliant!!!!
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12-03-2004, 02:49 PM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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*LOL*
__________________
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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12-03-2004, 02:51 PM
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♦*♥Moderatrix♥*♦
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: on top of it all
Posts: 50,568
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too fucking funny...*giggles*
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12-03-2004, 02:51 PM
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Mr Lizzardbits
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: on a bus
Posts: 1,681
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aw man those are great
__________________
Everyone Talks, Friends Listen
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12-03-2004, 03:26 PM
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Keeping warm
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,245
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Why didn't i expect this from you? :grin:
but santa did tell me he got your letter, he said next time to wait untill christmas and not raid Mrs. Claus' panty stash or he will leave nothing but startched cotton boxers for you. Yeah you have been that bad so he's saving the coal since it's worth money these days.
__________________
"I've seen a look in dogs' eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts." - John Steinbeck
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12-03-2004, 03:40 PM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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Those were serious ... right?

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12-03-2004, 05:10 PM
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My own little world
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: TN
Posts: 4,006
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Rofl...PF you always make me laugh
__________________
I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi
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12-03-2004, 05:41 PM
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Rollercoasters ROCK!!!!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern washington for a 'minute'
Posts: 1,006
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too frickken funny i laughed myself right out of my chair (almost)!!!!!
__________________
~There is nothing you can do, that can't be done~
"ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE"
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12-03-2004, 05:50 PM
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Pixie's Resident Reptile
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Central MD, USA
Posts: 21,186
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How (smirk) pollitically (bwah) incorrect (titter) of you.
You (ha) should (giggle) be (snicker) more...
oh, never mind, my spleen just hurts more when I laugh.
__________________
On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.
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12-03-2004, 06:09 PM
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Pixie since 9/3/2001
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Illinois
Posts: 16,995
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:grin:

__________________
Growing older is manditory, growing up is optional
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12-03-2004, 06:23 PM
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LOL, too too cute!!!!
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12-03-2004, 08:33 PM
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yada, yada, yada
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,805
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Lmao!!!
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12-03-2004, 08:54 PM
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Huggable!
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Northeast coast, USA
Posts: 5,055
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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!
Great PF..... TY!
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12-03-2004, 09:59 PM
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gurly gurl
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Reality
Posts: 33,683
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 funny
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~Tainted Love~
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