Well it looks like the whole thing with me and my ex is completely over. She no longer feels butterflies for me etc. So fun times I tell ya. Infact she is going to be moving out of state. You know I know I shouldnt bother with her but I just keep devoting more and more time to her. I dont know i just cant let her go. See this just shows how stupid I am. I am so stupid for putting up with shit even if it makes me feel like shit just because when i am with someone I totally commit. I hate this. I really do.

And then I was talking to her just now about how she is wanting to move to california and since she will prob treat every guy like how she treated me like a piece of crap she will be alone. Plus then when she is all horny she will go to a random bar and get screwed by 3 guys and orgaism so hard like i could never make her. :'(

I swear i am normally such a tough as nails guy with emotions but omg i just cant stop crying over her. I am so heartbroken over her it can not be put into words. I just feel so empty inside over her. She was everything to me. My one true love. I loved her so much and i put up with so much because of that. I really thought I was going to marry her. I did so badly and I never gave up hope. :'(

Celebrate the fact that you didn't get married to someone that obviously doesn't reciprocate your feelings. At all.

It may not seem like it now...but that's a good thing.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

I've broken up with guys when they predict what I'm going to do in the future. I have to say, my butterflies would flutter away if you took such an all-fucking-knowing attitude towards me & my possible future plans.

She already knows I didn't mean it. she told me all that before. this was just said before I posted it. She was saying all sorts of stuff to me and I was hurt and I said stuff to hurt her back. it isn't like I created it. she actually talked about doing it before. What haven't you ever said anything in the heat of the moment or do you venture to think you are perfect and never do anything wrong.

listen I didn't mean to snap but all that was said in the heat of the moment as she was putting me into an emotional gravesite. the butterflies was said aer we hung out last time. I never went and predicted shit for her. it hurt just so much that I wanted to make her hurt just like me. I only accomplished hurting myself. I already blame myself for it all anyway. I don't care I even blame myself for all the shit she did to me. btw that is nothing. she never introduced me to her parents as her bf but just friend. why? easy cause she was ashamed I think.

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Yea i think you are right. I keep thinking about what might happen to her in the future and well i keep feeling responsible. What do you all suggest to get over this? ps before you give me advice please dont say go make out with someone else etc in that line.

What happens to her now is her responsibility, not yours.

Learn to be happy in your own company, then you can work out who can snuggle up to without too many clashes.

Jumping into another relationship would just throw salt on the wound, because you haven't settled down yet.

Be selfish, enjoy yourself just for you and then worry about you plus another.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

You will never, ever be happy with anyone else until you are first happy with yourself.

Fill your time with things you enjoy, whatever that might be .... movies, games, friends, sports, landscaping, kite flying, sky diving... Do these things on your own or with friends or people who have interests in the same things. This should make you active in your life and less concerned with what she's doing or what will happen to her. Life is for living, not watching others live it.

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When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing.

Yeah, my point was I'm perfect.

Even if she did talk about it, you're still saying something to hurt her. Throwing her words in her face to be hurtful is just as bad.

well here is the update. she changed back to maybe dating in the future to just dumping everything to friends. yea it is def over. I am actually finding her annoying.

Good start.

Now work on finding her forgettable.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating