You know what it really hit me today. As you know from previous posts (lots) I was in a pretty screwed up situeation. Well Diana wants to be friends with benefits and then date a guy or guys and then if it dont work out come back to me. I asked how long would you date them and she said well it depends. If it works out I could date them for long term. It hit me. Jesus Christ how stupid have I been. Why would I hold out on something like that? I am just a backup and as much as I am in love with her it is crazy. Total Idiotic thinking on my part. I mean come on she wants to date other guys? You know she will become romantically involved and prob meet someone she wants. Where am I stuck then ? In the gutter!!!! Hard up and up shits creek without a paddle. I need to just let go of delusions that she will be mine. Hell I am so stressed out with it my hair is falling out literaly!!!! So I am not going to do this anymore. I am changing. Sure I will be her friend and sure if she is willing to do some wild shit I will but no more wishful loonyland ideas that she will be my wife. Slaps self* I know my self confidence is in the crapper. Actually it is beyond the crapper. I stuck with diana because well honestly she made me feel good about myself. Plus she was hot but that is immaterial. So yea I wanna go out now and enjoy myself. I wanna experience life and not the boredom of staying home waiting for her call. What do you all think? What should I do to get out?

rzande1,

What intrigues you? What engages your attention? What do you want to do better?

__________________
Eudaimonia

I dont know. I have had no personal life at all. I basically go to work and come home. I hardly ever go out and if i do it is for food or coffee. I have never been to a party. I have never been to a club. I have been to nothing. Just a bar a couple of times with my friend and his buddies.

There's always chances to get lucky in bars but I've found that it's easier meeting someone when you go to relax for your own self, not when you're in "hunting" mode and prone to set your psyche up for major disappointments if you don't meet someone or you do and don't hook up in the end, irritating your blue funk even further.

Just get out and play the odds in various situations. The point is to enjoy yourself first, not to let other people make your enjoyment for you.

__________________
Latrevo ta megala stithi!

"When men worship me because of my breasts, I feel that I am an embodiment of the goddess that has become...a part of our collective human soul." — Chloe Vevrier

IrezumiKiss' "Erotique Nonstop" — original, libertine, dirty drawings for your pleasure:
FINALLY updated! 5/6/08
More 5/6/08

Irezumi Kiss' Library.com Page - a comprehensive listing of my bibliophilic erotic inspirations & other readin's whut I digs

What do you mean when you say, 'sure if she's willing to do some wild shit'? I'm guessing you mean sexual stuff.

DON'T go there. Sex without love is absolutely fine, but you're in love with her, so sex is a bad idea.

I think you need distance from her, a life away from her in which you can become a more interesting (and that'll make you more attractive) person.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

rzande1

I've been in a relationship where she met someone else for a brief fling, but wanted to keep me on tap.

I gave her a "use-by date" and told her the choice was hers.

She went past the date and wouldn't choose, so I did.

Pissing her off was the best think I'd done in 10 years.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

(((((((((OF)))))))))

Good for you honey.

Why is it women are being told left right and centre not to get used by men, yet I see men being trampled underfoot by selfish, silly pathetic women all the time?!

This is the 21st Century boys, it's all about EQUALITY!

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

DAMN STRAIGHT LOU!!!! I am 100 percent behind you on that. I see my buddies getting abused like crazy and this is stupid crap. This stereotype that the guy is always at fault is crap.

Bottom line is still to find yourself a relationship with trust and general equality and the rest just doesn't rear it's ugly head,

Lift up a corner of trust and you should always find one of the ugly twins, stupidity or respect.

It's all up to you and your next.

__________________
Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Of course, it's not about who is at fault - allowing yourself to be walked over is as much your fault as it is of the person walking on you.

You're only a victim if you let yourself be one - and these days men seem to be relishing the victim role that women have traditionally occupied.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

How long is it supossed to hurt so bad? Please tell me cause i am heart broken completely even though I am trying to move on.

I think it takes about a year before you are in a place in your head where a new relationship is likely to actually work out.

In the meantime, distraction from your problems can help, just don't use chemical distractions (drink or drugs) as that'll just amplify your issues further down the line.

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Lou hits it right on the head here. I was in a similar situation about 18 yrs. ago with my high school/college sweetheart. Things seems so awful at the time but eventually time did heal all of those wounds. Believe it or not there will come a day when you can think about her and remember only how great the good times were and not really even care about the break-up.

Hang in there buddy, you'll make it through all of this.

it hurts for as long as it hurts. and i'm absolutely positive that dwelling on it will make it take longer.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

It occurs to me (IMHO) that you only talk to replies in your threads that pertain to answers that you want to hear!

Sorry if that ^^^ sounds harsh...but I can't sit by and watch you disregard all the words of wisdom and experience and pick out only the thoughts that you want to extract that go along the lines of what you are thinking anyway.

I'll explain:

Every thread I've read from you is queried (in essence), "What Would You Do In This Situation"? When the replies come abounding, I've only ever seen a response from you to the answers that you might want to hear.

It takes nothing to be open to our own thoughts! To listen and digest and follow other peeps advice takes an open mind!

We have some very wise people here at Pixies who have been through very much the same thing you are going through and they are TRYING to help you over the hurdles if you'd just listen! Many a youth has come and gone and they look back and say, "Why didn't I take that advice"? Ya wanna know why they didn't take that advice? BECAUSE it wasn't what they wanted to do or hear.

Instead, they took the "go-ahead-with-your-feelings" advice from the one or two who happened to answer/agree with what they were thinking all along. They (personally) didn't have to shoulder the responsibility when it all failed. All they had to say/think to themselves was, "Well...it wasn't my fault because I was advised to do it this way".

Do you hear what I am saying? All arrows point to "GET AWAY FAST...NO HANKY PANKY ANYTIME...EVER...SHE IS USING YOU LIKE A TRAINED DOG AND SHE ISN'T WORTH YOUR URINE TO SUSTAIN HER IF SHE WAS DEHYDRATED!!!!"

Hun...she's a mean, self centered, bitch-of-all-bitches and you are a sap if you continue to let her misuse you!

You have your whole life ahead of you and nary a person has ever died from leaving their "first love" behind. Matter of fact...nary a person is still with their first love (it's very rare).

We fear the future because we can't see it. Imagine a day when you'll laugh about all of this. Imagine a day when your first grandchild sits by you and asks about your first love. Will you tell her/him that you've never gotten over her even though you married somone else? I think NOT! I think you'll look back and smile and say, "It was an experience I learned from and I dated a bit more and then I met your grandmother and I knew she was THE ONE for me"!!!

^^^That's a message you can take to the bank!

So...what say you?

__________________
Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~