This is meant to be humorous.

1. Don't Sweat The Petty Things And Don't Pet The Sweaty Things.

2. One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor.....

3. Atheism Is A Non-prophet Organization.

4. If Man Evolved From Monkeys And Apes, Why Do We Still Have Monkeys And Apes?

5. The Main Reason Santa Is So Jolly Is Because He Knows Where All The Bad Girls Live.

6. I Went To A Bookstore And Asked The Saleswoman, "Where's The Self-help Section?" She Said If She Told Me, It Would Defeat The Purpose.

7. What If There Were No Hypothetical Questions?

8. If A Deaf Person Swears, Does His Mother Wash His Hands With Soap?

9. If Someone With Multiple Personalities Threatens To Kill Himself, Is It Considered A Hostage Situation?

10. Is There Another Word For Synonym?

11. Where Do Forest Rangers Go To "get Away From It All?"

12. What Do You Do When You See An Endangered Animal Eating An Endangered Plant?

13. If A Parsley Farmer Is Sued, Can They Garnish His Wages?

14. Would A Fly Without Wings Be Called A Walk?

15. Why Do They Lock Gas Station Bathrooms? Are They Afraid Someone Will Clean Them?

16. If A Turtle Doesn't Have A Shell, Is He Homeless Or Naked?

17. Can Vegetarians Eat Animal Crackers?

18. If The Police Arrest A Mime, Do They Tell Him He Has The Right To Remain Silent?

19. Why Do They Put Braille On The Drive-through Bank Machines?

20. How Do They Get Deer To Cross The Road Only At Those Yellow Road Signs?

21. What Was The Best Thing Before Sliced Bread?

22. One Nice Thing About Egotists: They Don't Talk About Other People.

23. Does The Little Mermaid Wear An Algebra?

24. Do Infants Enjoy Infancy As Much As Adults Enjoy Adultery?

25. How Is It Possible To Have A Civil War?

26. If One Synchronized Swimmer Drowns, Do The Rest Drown Too?

27. If You Ate Both Pasta And Antipasto, Would You Still Be Hungry?

28. If You Try To Fail, And Succeed, Which Have You Done?

29. Whose Cruel Idea Was It For The Word "lisp" To Have "s" In It?

30. Why Are Hemorrhoids Called "Hemorrhoids" Instead Of "Assteroids"?

31. Why Is It Called Tourist Season If We Can't Shoot At Them?

32. Why Is There An Expiration Date On Sour Cream?

33. If You Spin An Oriental Man In A Circle Three Times Does He Become Disoriented?

34. Can An Atheist Get Insurance Against Acts Of God


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Number four really pisses me off because of the stupidity involved in asking that question. That's like saying you were born so why is your uncle still alive. Fucking retarded, and people who seriously ask that question should be slapped and sterilized so they don't keep infecting the human race with their ignorance.

If you don't have the basic intelligence to understand simple science what purpose are you serving humanity?

^^

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

Someone has to fling the poo.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

db

if you have any poo, fling it now.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

*prepares the contents of one of jr's nappies*

ready....set.....FLING!

__________________
"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

love it DB
Favourites... 5, 6, 9, 18, 26, 31

Oooo maybe they'll be my lucky lottery numbers.... I'll be putting on a lottery ticket this week then....

#29...Everybody knows it's spelled: LITHP.THEEEEEETH what a thilly word. I'm thpraying it not thaying it.

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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller

I lmao on #8

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Love 'em all but that one really struck me for some reason.

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus