We interrupt this program to provide you with an important message from our sponsor...
John Doe strode into the bedroom, wearing His leather Postal Worker's uniform. He sneered at the bound and gagged figure on the bed, as He reached into His latex mail bag. Jane Doe, a 29-year old schoolgirl, looked up at her Master, her eyes a mixture of fear and desire. She gasped as He brought a knife with a 9-inch dildo out of the bag.
"I saw something on the Internet which I want us to try," He said sternly, "Are you willing?"
Jane nodded eagerly and mumbled, "yeff Mather."
John smiled as He bent close and cut her free of her bonds.
"Strip," He ordered as He began to remove His own clothes..
Jane quickly complied, wondering what new delights her beloved Master had in store for her.
"Lie back on the bed," He commanded.
Jane did so. John then lay Himself on top of her.
"Tonight my dear," He whispered while reaching for the light switch, “we are going........... Vanilla!"
"NOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!!!" cried Jane as the room plunged into darkness.
The above tale is true. John eventually left Jane to move in with a vanilla woman, with whom he now has a 24/7 vanilla lifestyle: they regularly enjoy home improvements, Tupperware parties and only have sex 3 times a year.
Jane was more fortunate. She currently attends Vanillas Anonymous and, with help and guidance, she is slowly recovering. Only last week she was able to stand up and say,
"I have the right to more than one sexual position!"
Vanilla is dangerous and should not be practiced at home. If anyone offers you vanilla sex—
*** JUST SAY 'NO'! ***
This has been a BDSM safety awareness announcement. We now return you to your regularly scheduled kink.
Have a nice day
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