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~Tainted Love~

The thought goes a long way, but what you come up and are comfortable with doing ... I suggest that you do so without having to be asked ... small things will mean a lot ...

The week she has chemo .. on her first day or two home, you might take the kids out for some activity away ... she isn't likely to feel up to doing much in those first couple of days and the kids may need a chance to get away and release some of their energy and fears ... and it will give her a time when she doesn't have to think about putting on a brave face for them every moment.
She probably won't be allowed to see many people in those days, so you might arrange it ahead of time, it will give them all something to look forward to ... even if it's just a trip to the local park for an hour or so ... or maybe a trip for an ice cream ... something not too out of the ordinary, but a change ...

If she has to stay in the hospital over night, you might show up with a casserole or just a dessert on one of those nights.

A card that arrives during the week after chemo ... something bright and cheerful

If it's the right weather for this, you might get a few flowers that can be planted outside her window ...

that's a start of some ideas anyway ... any thoughtful gesture at such a time will mean a lot!

Giving her kids opportunities to get out and be "normal" kids not kids with a sick mom, is probably the best gift you can give. Several of us also used to take chocolate to a friend of mine who passed away last summer from the same disease. It was the one food she wanted.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Any small gesture you make will go a long way. Offering to look after the kids even if it's just chasing them around the park for an hour will surely help out... doing their lawn a week might help free up some of their time... little cards and notes are a great way to lift someone's mood.

even though you've put the gesture for help, she's unlikely to straight up ask for it.

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When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing.

I think taking the kids out is the BEST idea....I am sure that would be really appreciated

The casseroles/cooking is good too -- she may not have enough energy to cook and the family might appreciate a home cooked meal.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

I am going to PM you the url to the book my friend wrote about trying to be a mom who has cancer. It was published right after she passed away. The website also has links to a support group she started here called~ Chicks~ Choosing Hope In Cancer. Scary but I personally was the teacher to the children of at least 4 women in that group. Maybe reading someone else's story would help her. My friend remained positive right up to the end.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

How odd I just posted about her and there is a story about her on the front page of our local section of the paper. Guess lots of people are thinking about her now.

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Thank you Lilith for the information. She must have made a great impact on LOTS of people!

And thank you everyone for the tips. I like the idea of taking the kids out to do some things.

Thanks everyone

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~Tainted Love~

Taking the kids out for the afternoon is one of the best things you can do for them.Cooking a meal or something will help also.
We had a friend with cancer that wanted to see flowers before see passed away (Early March) so we took a waterbed heater and placed it in the flower bed under the plants and it heated the soil enough to let the flowers bloom. Just a thought if its still cold there.

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The mind never forgets what the hands have learned

Some great ideas here...our neighbors just went through the same thing about a year ago. Just being there for him whenever he needs something...letting his daughter come over after school or covering for a sitter really helps a lot since he works and travels.

Thank you all again. I'll let you all know how it goes.

((((((((Pixies))))))))))

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~Tainted Love~

We have a neighbor that had a double masectomy two weekends ago. She's not married, and has a seven year old son. My youngest son is exactly a year older than her son and they get along famously. She's told us time and time again that having our son over to visit hers is a great help because it gives her son someone other than Mom to play with. We've had her son over to our house just as often as she's had our son to hers, and she's able to turn her attention to things she needs to get done, and she can even manage to rest.

We've cooked more than we need with the understanding that it goes to them, and we've baked an extra banana bread a couple of times too. (Mrs. WI was in charge of that.)

And what got the biggest reaction was the few times we've bought extra basic items while we were at the grocery store. We're there anyway, and it's so easy to grab two when we use one. We let her pay us for them but it's not about the money. It's just about the little things that really do end up being a big help. It's a good thing to have the kids bring stuff over too. They need the exposure to considerate actions...and I'm getting too old to walk all the way there. ha ha

Thanks WI. Sounds like you guys are a real blessing to her!

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~Tainted Love~

You might check with the kids to make sure they know how to do 911 and such ... not to scare them, just to make sure they can function in an emergency if they are ever at home alone with mom and she has a serious reaction ...

you might also teach them how to make a simple meal ... sandwich and carrots or something that is age appropriate and they can take care of for themselves or even to do for mom if she's having a really difficult time of it one day ...

Do you know if mom has a particular liking for certain types of books, magazines or a sitting down type of craft ... that might be something you could do that would be easy for her ... just a few thoughts I had today.

A freezer-full of frozen pasta sauces, casseroles and such never goes astray.

Teach the kids 911, but teach them how to do it at your place so if there's an accident at your place while they're there, they know what to do. This'll translate.

If you must fuss, do so invisibly, as caring becomes well-meant intrusion wery quickly.

Don't just do all the chores, because hubby's going to need some head time, and hiding behind a noisy mower may be his only "away time".

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating