I ahae to force-feed the snapping turtle, I demand an assistant.

Just sayin'.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

. . . and spare fingers.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

use tongs

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Does the snapping turtle have a problem that it won't eat for itself?

No, but fingers make it tastier.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Yeah, it showed up in April, having been hit by a car, which resulted in a fractured jaw. That's healed by now, but the animal seemingly can't open it's mouth more than, oh, maybe half a centimeter. Therefore, when it goes after food (which it does on its own), it can't actually bite it.

But of course, it is never in the mood to cooperate when we try to assist-feed, so we have to force-feed: pry its mouth open, shove food down the throat, put it back int he water so it will swallow (yeah, how many times do I get to yell "swallow!" anyway?).

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

I'd try a slingshot and a squirt gun.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

where the hell is my "like" button?

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I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. --Lily Tomlin

I reserve those for use on subbie-types.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.