so I’m making room in the linen closet for the crib sheets and those mini towels with the built-in hoods, and even though I’m ready for another child to love and guide (…I can’t wait really), it suddenly hits me: I’m scared. not because we’re going to have another child but because I’m going to “have” a baby. our daughter was born via c-section, and an emergency one at that, so I never did experience the “real thing” and I’ve got to say I feel the strangest contradiction inside; to already have a child and yet not know what to expect. I’ve never felt an intense contraction or had to time them and then wait and wait and wait…. of course I’ve heard from other moms and I’ve asked the doctor all kinds of questions but I still have nothing to compare it with. plus most of my questions are of the personal decision nature, anyway. like…should I take drugs?… I’ll admit the c-section was pretty damn painful (I had an epidural but opted for pain meds after surgery so I could see my daughter and remember. suffice it to say I associate the recovery room in the OR with some brief but very awful pain) but I made it and I think I’d like to be able to feel what’s going on. and also…how bad is the pain, anyway? how long will my labor be? and the big one… how will I feel after? will I want to hold him or sleep or cry or rant or…or WHAT? I didn’t have any choices the first time around. I was in recovery while our baby was taken away to be washed and weighted and all that jazz and I missed it. by the time I saw her I was too drugged to do anything but touch her while my husband held her in the football hold like he’d been carrying babies around since he was 10. and that is the extent of my memories of our first day in the hospital. I feel unprepared and I don’t like feeling unprepared. :dizzy:

< ----thanks you for listening

God bless you Wyndhy. Will be thinking of you and pray all goes super smooth. Just remember you've got a lot of pixie hugs holding you when the time comes!

I've never had a baby so you may want to skip my advice....however.....I was in the delivery room when my friend had her baby (coolest thing I've ever seen). And one minute she was screaming, and crying.....then the epideral was administered and she never made another negative sound. I mean she pushed the baby out like it was nothing. I thought she was so brave, and she credits it all to the epideral. I always thought that WHEN I have a child I would try to do it natural, but watching her made me think twice.
That is the only advice I can give!!! Good luck & God Bless!!!!!

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Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds.
~Bob Marley
His clothes are dirty, but his hands are clean; and you're the best thing that he's ever seen.
~Bob Dylan

Wyn...I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, contractions hurt like hell!! However, there is absolutely nothing and I mean nothing that is as wonderful as pushing your child into the world. If at all possible I would suggest that you go with an epidural. I wasn't fortunate enough to have one, but I still wouldn't trade the experiences of giving birth to my children for all the money in the world!!! Yes, you will be tired after giving birth, but not too tired to hold and love on your baby. I was up walking around, slowly that is, within a few hours. Yes you are sore, but I can guarantee it will be nothing compared to the soreness you experienced with a C-section.

I had a friend who had an epidural during her pregnancy and her mother thought she had lost her mind as the friend laughed through the entire delivery!

I'm here if you ever need to talk. My e-mail addresses are on my profile.

Love ya sweetie

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

wyndhy~ I wish I had the perfect words to calm your fears but I don't. Every single solitary birth is a uniquely personal experience as I am sure every death is as well.

I read some good hippie midwife books I got at the library that helped me to re-evaluate my way of looking at the entire process. With the first child, the fear of the unknown left me in almost an observers role. I was not making choices or participating in the event. I was just dealing and having stuff done to me. Second go round I wanted to "give birth" not simply deal with labor. I tried my best. Hell yeah I was scared but I knew what was coming, and you have that advantage now as well. (((((hugs))))

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
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db... thanks for braving my warning and dropping me a line of reassurance.

mackenzie... any info is good info. i'm always thinking twice and thrice and fourthice ... thank you

tt... puhleeze...i'd never dream of asking you to sugar coat anything! i count on your uh...forthright manner *cough* thank you, dear! big(((((HUGS))))) ^^^misses chatting with you^^^

lilith... i hadn't thought to look at midwifing books. that is a fantastic idea, thanks! leave it to you to have all the research done and catalogued (((hugs)))

My opinion...

They make drugs to help with all kinds of pain. We take them because we don't want to be in pain anymore. Then, "the book" says women must bear the pain of childbirth for something that happened so long ago it should be forgiven by now. Some feel that everything in life should be natural...but if they were truthful, they'd admit their life is enhanced on a daily basis by man-made amenities. The epidural is considered safe now...and the possibility of participating in such a precious event (your childs birth) and being able to remember it all...all without pain and exhaustion, seems so right to me. If it were me, and considering what you had gone through last go-round...I'd request the epidural.

Any way you choose...I wish you the very best!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~