Ok, my gf is extremely interested in trying a FFM 3some, I also would love to help her experience this fantasy of hers and mine. She has been with a girl once before, when she was much younger, and she loved it. She enjoys performing orally on another woman, and I would love to do it with her and watch her do it. The problem is, I've always thought that a 3some is a good way to end a good thing, and I care/love this girl deeply. We've discussed marriage in the past, and my thing (being formerly married) is if I get married again, I want it to last. I think that this girl is the love of my life, and I'm scared of....idk what. Partly I'm scared I guess that she will forget that I'm there, or that afterwords she will enjoy it SO much that sex with only me will simply not be enough. Or that it will somehow taint the way that we look at each other since we will have technically "cheated" in front of each other. For myself and her when we've discussed it, I only have a few rules, and they are: #1. Neither I nor she cums with the 3rd party. #2. No kissing between she and I with the 3rd party. #3. We should do this with a non-friend. Her best friend (the girl she was with before) would do this anytime, we are both quite sure, what do we do? As of now, we have decided to leave it in the realm of fantasy and dirty talk during our lovemaking, but we do both think about it quite alot. I've told her that if she marries me I dont want her to look back after our 50th wedding annv. and have ANY regrets. And if we DONT do this, will this BE a regret? BAH! HELP!

Well if it were me I'd do the best friend and let the lips fall where they may. If you're considering marriage you want to know if this kind of thing is going to sway her ahead of the vows aren't you? Hell you're in a situation a lot of guys would love to be in... relax and go for it. If she develops a preferrence for female action, believe me before you go any further is when you need to know.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

I'd tell her about your concerns, and let her deecide. If she still really wants to give it a try, you need to decide if you are OK with that. I think BigBear is right -- you may need to know if she prefers women to you. Bad thing to find out after you've bought a home and have kids together.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Why would you bother trying to have an experience with another person when as is obvious by the rules you have you don't want anyone to enjoy it? Doesn't look like you're ready. If your feelings change great but to me it's pretty clear with rules like no cumming, no kissing, that you would be tolerating at best. I suggest you work on your relationship first before adding anyone else into the mix. And remember fear is not based in love.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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Hm, with all of that, it really sounds like it might be a bad idea. The whole basis for relationships in general should be turst, and even more so if people are going to involve other parties in their relationships.

I will acknowledge that I could easily be wrong, but from what I'm reading, you and your S/O just haven't reached the point of trusting each other yet. And honestly, you might not. Or you may. I'm really trying not to pass judgement on what your relationship is like. I am trying to answer you question with the best advice I can give.

And that's the idea that if you want to do X, then you need to realize that Y & Z go with it.


Oh, and a completely different thing:

(welcoming head bobs to another lizard)

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Setting up an encounter with restrictions prohibiting something as natural and primal as climaxing when oral is allowed seems like it's doomed from the start. That's one rule that's bound to be broken. Rules go out the window in the heat of the moment. I don't know about you but once I get my tongue on a fragrant and quivering hoo hoo...well, the only time I've been stopped prior to orgasm was because she wanted intercourse. Sometimes not even then.

My opinion? Think about what group sex is all about, and how it impacts everyone involved. If and when that impact is understood and acceptable, proceed with realistic expectations. Orgasm should be one of them because it's gonna happen...like it or not.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.