All day today I've been "suffering" with really bad wind. Every couple of minutes my bottom is unleashing clouds of unpleasantness....

What do you do on days like this?

Do you try to hold it in for fear of being caught in the act of polluting the world?

Just don't care and proudly cock a leg, rip out a nose burner and afterwards raise your arms in triumph?

Sneak one out in the hope it can be blaimed on someone else??

Well it's been a while since I last started a thread so I thought I'd make it a good one

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FussyPucker

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!

The Special One!

Yes, ladies and gentleman, this is the man I love. The 'best' man I've ever met and the one I decided to spend the rest of my life with.


Oh dear.



Please feel suitably sorry for me.

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

I do feel sorry for you. The smell must be awful by now

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Don't strike a match for God's sake!!

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Hey... we are on a high fiber diet here!

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

And during the "test drive" period, he never once ripped off a paint-peeler, did he?

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Of course he did Scotz - he just never posted a thread about it here!!!!!!!!! I think it's his pride in it that worries me!

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

It's all about a man's ability to change his environment.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

So you are the one who is blowing a hole in the ozone and contributing to global warming

Ever get the feeling that we Pixies might, just might, share a bit to much information?







Sorry Loulabelle

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Just when the caterpiller thought the world was over, it became a butterfly!

Owning Pita, by my JassWolf!!
My Story~ Friday Night Spanking

Buy a dog.











" ......... what did you do, Fido?"

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...or blame it on Little Pucker.

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

That's why I stopped eating Raisin Bran.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Little Pucker was in bed at the time....and even he isn't toxic enough to detect from his bedroom upstairs!!!!

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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"

M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !

i'm reminded of a joke...

A young man was thrilled to finally be asked to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was headed to their home for an evening of dinner and conversation. Of course, he was understandably nervous about the meeting and by the time he arrived at their doorstep his stomach was in a severe state of nerve-induced turmoil.

Unfortunately, his tummy problems took their natural route, and by the time the soup course was served, our poor young man was fighting off some very acute gastric distress. He felt too self-conscious to excuse himself from the table but by the time he realized that he could hold it in no longer, he also realized that if he even attempted to move so much as an inch, he was going to fart.

Rather fortunately, though, the family dog had chosen his chair to lie under and the young man though there was a slim chance he could allow just a teeny tiny bit of gas out and somehow blame the dog. Hoping he could, knowing he had no other choice, he leaned in to take a sip of his soup and farted. It wasn’t too loud, but there was no mistaking what it was. And it stank. He looked down and sort of chuckled at the dog, hoping against hope that the rest of the family would buy it when the young woman’s father hollered. "SPOT! Get over here!"

The young man was relieved. And in more ways then one, too. He leaned in for another spoonful of soup, and farted again. This time it was totally unexpected - his poor tummy was just soooo upset - and he thought there was no way they were going to keep thinking it’s the dog, but again the father yelled, “SPOT! I said get over here!”

Thinking the dog must do this sort of thing a lot, the young man believed he had it made. He could ease his discomfiture and concentrate instead on enjoying this long awaited meal with the family of his beloved. Again he leaned forward for another spoonful of soup and again he let out some more of the gas that was tearing up his tormented tummy. It was quite a bit louder and longer this time but he felt confident the dog would be blamed and indeed the father yelled at the dog once more to get out from under the chair.

Our young man felt worlds better. He even thought perhaps that was the end of it. He leaned forward for another spoonful of soup – this time not so he could fart but so he could finally begin enjoying his meal - when it was the young woman’s mother who yelled this time “Goddamnit, Spot, he’s gonna do it again! Now get out of there before he shits on you!”

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose