
01-23-2006, 12:31 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alassė
For me personally
Cheating is cheating...no matter what the reason
We'd either discuss an open relationship or get divorced
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My thoughts exactly!
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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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01-23-2006, 12:56 PM
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is not this trim anymore!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 21,709
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I've often stated that sex is a good barometer for a relationship. If issues arise in a relationship, one partner or the other doesn't feel that enthusiastic about climbing into bed and having tender emotional or rip-roaring break the bed sex. Work is needed outside of the bedroom and the only way to do that is through honest and good communication. Odds are, you already know what the reason is as to why they don't want sex, but if you don't...ask. You're half of the couple and if sex is important to you, then you are at least due a conversation about why it's not important to them.
Is this a recent development or has it been this way from the start?
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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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01-23-2006, 01:41 PM
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Getting her groove back
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 169
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Aye, there's the rub, or not
It is not loveless, it is sexless. And there has been no cheating, nor do I expect there to be in the future. And the issues are almost purely psychological
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01-23-2006, 01:43 PM
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Getting her groove back
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 169
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And the issues started about 2 months into the relationship, before that, it was 3 times a day.... then his ex's stepfather called to say that she was 5 months pregnant
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01-23-2006, 02:53 PM
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is not this trim anymore!
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: New England
Posts: 21,709
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerlily78
And the issues started about 2 months into the relationship, before that, it was 3 times a day.... then his ex's stepfather called to say that she was 5 months pregnant
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With his baby? Besides all the financial and custodial issues, that could've brought back a flood of memories of good times & bad that he is having a tough time dealing with.
Not his baby? Maybe he's thinking about what went wrong with the marriage and realizing that he was more comfortable being divorced because she was alone.
I may be waaaaaaaaay off track here, but I'm not working with much info. Not that all the facts would help me. I'm a goofball, don't forget. lmfao
__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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01-23-2006, 04:10 PM
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Mrs FussyPucker
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: England
Posts: 3,635
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About 2 months into the relationship is not long at all.....I'd be thinking, any issues with an ex that causes such a negative effect on the current relationship, must be issues that should have been dealt with before the new relationship started. I'd be heading for the door saying, call me when you've sorted your head out.
As I suspected as I read this thread, and as Lil pointed out, the lack of sex is the least of your worries in this situation. You need to examine why on earth the activities of his ex are continuing to have such a strong effect on him.
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"Time flies like an arrow -
Fruit flies like a banana"
M Y - N A U G H T Y - P I C T U R E S ! !
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01-23-2006, 06:00 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 146
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I can relate to this problem myself. However, going from what im reading, it is the opposite for me and mine. I am the sexless partner. (due to a medical problem)
The wife claims that toy and fingers are enough and seems to be serious. I know there will be no cheating due to her religious scruples. (Morman)
I love her to death and am trying different ideas for a solution, however to no avail so far.
Its not fun nor is it easy to post this. But I can definately relate and would be willing to discuse this Tigerlily if you feel like chatting.
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to slide in broadside , thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming --WOW-- What a Ride!
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01-23-2006, 06:21 PM
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Getting her groove back
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 169
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To clarify... this child will be 6 in May....it has been almost six years since the bomb dropped and the sex never recovered. He makes comments like he wants to have sex sometimes, but will back off if I take him up on it. He's got his hands up my shirt a great deal of the time, but it had gotten to the point where it just annoys me... it's like that joke about mad cow disease...you'd be mad too if someone played with your tits everyday but only fucked you once a year.
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02-01-2006, 05:49 PM
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Nurse Ratchet Graduate
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Thousand Oaks, Ca.
Posts: 2,941
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I've done the sexless and loveless marriage thing. It lasted for 29 years until enough was enough and the circumstances were such that it was definitely time for me to leave. Yes, I did cheat on him and I don't feel guilty about it because by the time I stepped out, we were beyond done.
The reasons for how I timed things are, of course, unique to my situation and far from simple.
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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~
It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~
As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~
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02-27-2006, 01:05 PM
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Just want to enjoy life!
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,537
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bump! 
__________________
"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
E. E. Cummings
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02-27-2006, 07:51 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: North Australia
Posts: 17,687
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Was that a bump or a thud?
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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating
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10-18-2006, 08:21 AM
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Just want to enjoy life!
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,537
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__________________
"There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that." (Lewis Grizzard)
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
E. E. Cummings
My Pictures
Picture requests
As Promised
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05-26-2007, 04:24 PM
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Getting her groove back
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 169
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Well, it's been almost a year and a half... and I finally did.
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05-26-2007, 07:47 PM
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Loungin' Around
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: West Coast
Posts: 30,587
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And? How do you feel?
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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.
I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney
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05-26-2007, 09:14 PM
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Getting her groove back
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 169
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I feel good. It was a guy I hooked up with a couple times before I met my husband. The sex was great and his attitude was fantastic. I actually felt like a sexual person for the first time in years. And it really clarified to me that my marriage has been over for more than a year, I just wasn't really admitting it.
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