Oh...and scarecrow..did you say something about "service"...as in servicING???

How cool.
What a great Pixie you are!

RG.---You say that you feel old enough;already.Age is only a #.It's
your outlook;that counts.I was at my Drs. once.(A close,personal,
friend)My left shoulder was bothering me;occasionally.I told him&
he was giving me a shot in my shoulder.When;I told him;he said;
You have to remember that you're in your 50s;now.I told him that
when I feel like 50;fine.Until then;"F--k it!Of course;being a friend;
I could talk to him like any one else.I go to a different Dr. now.He
is dead!He had a heart transplant;got a partially defective heart;
and went down south;for another transplant.He died on the table!Age isn't all that can kill you.He was 55/56! Irish

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Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)

That's a sad story Irish! Anyhoo, RG, I hope your problem will work itself out soon. I don't really have anything to add except to second that an ultimatum is probably not the best way to go. I definitely like the taking him by force idea, but only you can feel out the situation to know if that would actually get through to him or just make him angry/hurt. All in all, maybe you could both seek counseling so that he can become more comfortable discussing your relationship- both emotional and sexual. Best of luck though in any path you choose

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I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth - whether it existed before or not.
-John Keats

I have the same problem in my relationship. I have thought about finding someone else. I just keep pounding away at her resistance. Have you tried getting videos and both of you watching and discussing what is going on? There are a lot of people here to talk to and with. Please consider me one. Ken

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I have great abs, some men have six packs I have a keg!

To be very honest Ken, after this long trying HARD to encourage him to try different things........AND getting almost nowhere, I've really given up. We have done the counselling thing, several types, and I've picked up a naughty video or two. I've tried dressing up, dressing down.....all sorts of things.
He's just very very conservative.

What will happen will happen (or NOT as the case may be.)

There are sometimes small miracles and I watch and wait for those....but the biggest dreams of mine I KNOW will NEVER happen.

I'll live.

Know exactly what you mean. Although it has only been 19 yrs for me I keep trying. As I said I've had serious thoghts of finding something outside of my marriage. But still think that Because I love her still I don't .But don't know what would happen if the oppertunity arose I couldn't say I may not jump at it. It kind of helps talking with others. Ken

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I have great abs, some men have six packs I have a keg!