Hoky hit the nail on the head.

Plan a quiet night just for the two of you. Hey, a weekend would be even better, if you can swing the sitter.

Be attentive to her needs. One of the 7 habits of highly effective people is to understand before you can be understood.

When you do finally get your wife alone, DO NOT MAKE SEX THE OBJECTIVE. Of course it is the desired outcome, but it's the intimacy that you really need. It may figuratively kill you, but keep up the foreplay with no end in sight. It's all about the foreplay. In fact, it shouldn't be <b>fore</b>play, it is really just <b>play</b>. She'll get to a point where she won't be able to stand it and she'll have to have it. When the act is finally and ultimately consumated, return to play. Caress her and let her feel the afterglow with you.

Hopefully that will swing the pendulum back in the direction you need it. You simply need a big course correction right now.

I hope this helps my friend. Good luck.

__________________
"Even a man who is pure of heart
And says his prayers by night
Can become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the moon is full and bright."